30
Mar
2014

Suffering Fools - Episode 37

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Mike and Dave are back from their whirlwind tour of recycling bins of Southern California! With a pure profit of nine dollars and seventy-eight cents in their pockets and several torn plastic trash bags in the trunks of their cars, they're ready to roll on this, the Gigantic Episode 37 of SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE! - even though they don't understand why those EPA idiots won't take Sunny D bottles. I mean they're plastic, right?  So Sunny D's plastic is no good? So we can just throw them out to be dumped in landfills? Isn't that why we're recycling in the first place? Aside from the cool 9-10 bucks every couple of weeks? Geez. Where was I? Oh yeah, here's the crap they came up with this week:  Mike and Dave introduce a NEW SEGMENT this week - a trip to INTERVIEW TOWN!! This weeks interviewee is popular stand-up comedian and former limo driver WILLIE BINGO! That's his picture over there. Nice looking guy. And FUNNY. Mike and Willie talk about their past as employees of THE COMEDY STORE, the infamous comedy club in West Hollywood CA. Lots of frond memories (big discussion of Palm trees). And Willie tells the boys about the stupidest fucking thing he ever did. It involves a radio and a different phony name (you thought Bingo was his name-o?). To start off the show, M&D fall back on that tired old WORLD AROUND THE GLOBE segment featuring these stories:

The Chinese Whistle Boy
The Search for Penis Insurance
The Lap App and
Keep Your Hands Off Me Lucky Charms!

So, put your fat cans back in the garage, saddle up and listen to SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 37!

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10
Dec
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 36

For some reason SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE is back! Of course we know it never really left the warm cockles of your heart muscle, but now we're talking about all new episodes! ...One new episode! ...One new episode number with the same old crap inside! Yes, Mike slipped off his slippers and Dave rinsed out his ribbed corset and the boys both got down to work!

This week: THE WORLD AROUND THE GLOBE brings us four plaque-inducing yarns from all over the yard:

  • THE FEAR OF FLYING SNAKES - oh, the irony...
  • THE MEN WHO LOVED RAT PELTING - hey,Moe!
  • BUTT, CLENCHING - don't hold back...
  • MY LOVER, THE CAR - huh?

Plus, HOLLYWOOD LOST AND FOUND takes a look back at the groundbreaking, Susquehanna Hat smashing, 50 year-old men without jobs-loving, wonder of the Eisenhower Age: THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO TV SHOW! So, take a deep breath, the worst is over - SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE IS BACK ON THE AIR!

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28
Oct
2013

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO TAKE A BREAK…

 

After 35-40 years of cranking out uniquely brilliant podcast episodes, the staff here at SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE felt the need to slow down, lounge around in their nightgowns and elephant slippers and take it easy for a few months. That's why you've been stuck listening to EPISODE 35 over and over since July. In truth, though, Dave has been a little under the weather and needed that time off to attend to some health issues, but he's been coming back stronger everyday and EPISODE 36 will be up and annoying you very soon! So hang in there, you ain't seen nothin' yet!  I mean seriously, we really haven't done anything yet that you could have seen.

 

2
Jul
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 35

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Did you ever have one of those podcast episodes where you felt everything was just perfect? You know, every joke a gem, the stories make everyone who listens to them stop in their tracks and sit mesmerized until the last word is spoken? Well, SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 35 was one of those - until the FCC got their hands on it - twisting everything around and making Mike and Dave sound like freakin' morons! Go ahead and listen for yourselves! You'll see exactly what I'm talking about. Government. Hah! What is it good for? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SAY IT AGAIN! Ahh, don't get me started. Anyway, here's the WORLD FROM AROUND THE GLOBE headlines that M & D were ALLOWED to do:

  • THE UNCONSCIOUS MEAT THERMOMETER
  • FILTHY HABITS
  • LE CHATEAU DE HOOSEGOW
  • THE WARM, FLUFFY TARGETS 

Sounds good, huh. Well you should have heard the original....ah, forget it. Next this week, is a new segment somebody decided to call THE WAY WHAT WE WAS. In it the boys discuss the 75th anniversary of the birth of an American icon: LEE HARVEY OSWALD. Except, no, that's too controversial for UNCLE SCAM and the FEDS. So the subject was changed to the innocuous 75th ANNIVERSARY OF SUPERMAN. Yeah, I know. So listen to SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 35 and sit back and think about what might have been. And maybe just ponder the future of this "country" of ours.

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17
Jun
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 34

Granny.jpgTHEY'RE BACK! Yes, Mike and Dave are really, finally back from their infamous anthropological expedition to deepest Upstate New York and the successful Catskills Dig in which petrified dinner rolls were unearthed in hopes of extracting the DNA of long extinct Borscht Belt comedians. The goal? JEWRASIC PARK! Get it? See? JEW-asic! That's different than JUR-asic. Which was the original thing. See? So, this week in THE WORLD AROUND THE GLOBE we hear the stories behind these jaw-droppingly, pants-fillingly headlines ripped from today's places where you find this stuff: *THE SENIOR CITIZEN CRACK AND HO SOCIETY *BUTT, BUTT OFFICER! *THE CUM THUMB and *THE BEEF JERKING DIET Finally, in a new segment the boys are forced to contractually call I SAW IT ON THE COMPUTER, M & D discuss a couple of their favorite websites that they mistakenly think you'll enjoy as well! So, stick around, the whole thing is like 30 minutes, so it's not going to kill you to listen, right? Just relax have some wine and enjoy SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE, EPISODE 34!

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2
May
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 33

MamasBoy.jpg After 75 years, 3 Pulitzers, 2 Peabodys and a gold medal in the 1968 Olympics under our belt, we here at SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE - notwithstanding the lesson learned from the recent Classic/New Coke debacle - have decided it was time for a change. To keep up with the times and keeping in mind the short attention span of the youngsters in our audience, as well as acknowledging our commitment to being a "green" organization in this economy, we have created new "segments" that are shorter, quicker and take less time to digest. Of course, we'll still bring you the classic "stories" you've loved for well over 100 years but now you'll find them nestled under "THE WORLD AROUND THE GLOBE" banner. And they'll be less of them. Following "TWATG" each week we'll bring you a new and exciting segment - a different one each show! This week it's "HOLLYWOOD LOST AND FOUND WITH MIKE AND DAVE" in which Mike and Dave revisit semi-obscure comedy movie gems of decades past. ! In THE WORLD AROUND THE GLOBE this week we'll hear about A MOTHER'S (TONGUE) KISS; THE HOTEL FOR THE DEAD; THE DEADLY FOOT PLANTING; and THE SCANDAL OF RANDY ROY ROGERS. In this week's HOLLYWOOD LOST AND FOUND segment the boys review "CHAMPAGNE FOR CAESAR" with Ronald Coleman, Vincent Price and Art Linkletter! So, we hope you like our new stuff as much as you've liked the old stuff or maybe a little better. That would be good. From a marketing standpoint.

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31
Mar
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 32

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Thirty-two episodes! Wow! If you asked Mike and Dave after Episode 31: "did you ever think in your wildest dreams that there would be an Episode 32?" They'd probably laugh and say: "yeah". So, this week M & D are enjoying a drug-fueled afternoon of ping-pong and charades with their pals Mike, Mickey, Davey and Peter when a loud knock at the front door shatters the mellow vibe in the decrepit basement apartment. "It's the Drug Cartel!" screams Peter as the door is suddenly riddled with bullets. Mickey takes a hit to the shoulder and falls, writhing in pain as Davey, Peter and Mike head for cover. The door bursts open and the assassins finish the job, putting Mickey out of his misery with a clean shot to the head before turning their assault weapons on the other band members. Just as the gunmen turn to leave, a parade of clowns, jugglers and Columbia Pictures bit-players marches through the apartment to the tune of "PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY". Mike and Dave follow the merriment out of the back door and later record this pacifistic podcast. This week in CRIME SCENE we hear four sure-fire crowd pleasers: DING DONG, IT'S THE DOOR-TO-DOOR PORN LADY!; The MAN WITH THE BEER PENIS; The PISTOL-PACKING PUSSY; and THE DRIVER'S LICENSE THAT DROVE HER TO JAIL!. In the YOU'RE KIDDING files, we learn about spoooky GHOST MARRIAGES and OUR GOVERNMENT INACTION tells us what it's like to be SUSPENDED FROM A SCHOOL BUS!  Finally, the guys pay tribute to a man who devoted his life to RUBBER SUITS AND BIKINI BABES. So, don't necessarily believe your daydreams but join Mike and Dave on the last train to SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE, EPISODE 32!

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16
Mar
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 31

shittens.jpegSUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 31. Say that three times, fast! Thanks. This week M & D are enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon with Ward, June, Wally and The Beav when the calm is shattered by the arrival of Eddie Haskell, who taunts June with his drooling, lascivious grin as he pulls a switchblade on the helpless Ward. Wally dashes for the phone and dials the cops, alerting them to the fact that Eddie has violated his restraining order once again as Beaver grabs for the nearest blunt, heavy object and pummels Eddie's head until blood spatters everywhere. Ward faints dead on the couch as Wally helps Beaver wipe the blood from his eyes with an antimacassar (look it up). Eddie, now slumped on the floor, emits a gurgling death rattle and expires, as Mike and Dave retire to the bedroom with June to record this painful podcast. This week, CRIME STORY gives us the tales of the MOST ANNOYING PEDESTRIAN IN PORTLAND, MAINE; the RENTED WHIPPING BOY; and THE INVISIBLE BANK ROBBER! OUR GOVERNMENT INACTION tells us about THE SHORT-SIGHTED JUDGE, while BAD BUSINESS wants us to wipe with SHITTENS! YOU'RE KIDDING shows us how a bunch of MOTHERS FIGHT BESTIALITY, and SOCIAL STUDIES regales us with another bullshit SURVEY CONDUCTED BY ADULTS that purports to tell us what KIDS ENJOY!  So, as the saying goes: don't be too hard on the beaver and turn that dial to SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 31!

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4
Mar
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 30

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It was almost 30 years ago that a little guy named Mike and a man we like to call Dave founded what has become the institution they call SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE. Coincidentally, this is the 30th episode of SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE. Well, I'd like to THINK it's a coincidence... So, this week the boys find themselves in Wilbur Post's old barn, smack dab in the middle of an intervention with Wilber's wife Connie, next door neighbors Roger and Kay, Dr. Drew Pinsky and Ed. As Dr. Drew begins counseling Wilbur about his heavy heroin use - convincing him that his talking-animal hallucinations are a serious manifestation of his years of drug abuse, Ed finally decides that he's had enough of his 24/7 existence in a ramshackle 12 X 9 stall, rears-up and hooves Dr. Drew in the back of the head, killing him instantly. Wilbur, Connie, Roger and Kay attempt to escape but are crushed against the barn wall by Ed's massive body weight. Mike and Dave climb to safety in the hay loft and record this potty podcast. First up, in CRIME SCENE we hear about the CONVICT WHO COULDN'T RETIRE. Then BAD BUSINESS checks in with the story of CHECKING CHUBBY CHECKER'S CHUBBY and the tale of the EVIL MONKEY WAITERS OF TOKYO! OUR GOVERNMENT INACTION tells us who we can and CAN'T LIVE WITH and the YOU'RE KIDDING files describes a BUS LOAD of PANT LOADS. HOLY SHIT, MR. SCIENCE tells us what it's like to ask for the price of pets OVER AND OVER again, and finally the boys pay tribute to the man who put the TOUCH in TOUCHTONE! So, in the fated words of Dr. Drew when counseling Wilbur about his addiction, "Horse is Horse, of course, of course". So true. Well, let's all saddle-up and gallop over to SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE EPISODE 30!

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21
Feb
2013

Suffering Fools - Episode 29

Etch.jpg29 is almost 30 but not quite. But it's not 28 either, that's for sure! Ha, ha ha! So, that brings us to this week's episode of SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE! This week the boys are enjoying a rousing afternoon of Milles Borne and Trouble (with " Pop-O-Matic Action ") at their buddy Dennis Mitchell's house when his parents, Mr. Mitchell and Mrs. Mitchell, appear at his bedroom door followed by next-door neighbor Mr. Wilson and two policeman. After a heated argument during which Wilson accuses Dennis of performing various sociopathic antics, Dennis' slingshot accidentally falls from his back pocket and he is instantly tasered and taken to the ground by the cops. As Dennis writhes in pain, Mrs. Mitchell rushes to his side and is pepper-sprayed and handcuffed. Wilson, still red-faced from the argument, suffers a massive heart attack and falls on top of Mr. Mitchell who hits his head on a nearby table rendering him unconscious. As the two cops discuss how they'll cover-up their litigable actions, Mike and Dave slink out the side door and later record this peonic podcast. First up in CRIME SCENE, we hear the tale of the MAN-HORSE-BABY! SOCIAL STUDIES takes us to CANADIA where we learn about their POUTINE CRISIS and the ins-and-outs of CANADIAN SEX! OUR GOVERNMENT INACTION tells us about a SPANKING NEW LAW and the YOU'RE KIDDING! files describes the joys of being the first PORN STAR IN SPACE and the bottomless pit of pain known as ASS LIGHTNING!. Finally, the guys pay tribute to a man whose life was recently turned upside-down and shaken. So, don't be a MENACE 2 SOCIETY or something. Tune in and turn on SUFFERING FOOLS WITH MIKE AND DAVE, EPISODE 29!!

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